A factor that is rarely discussed as determining the music we listen to is the name. I once wrote an article questioning the name choice of a group called F****d Up that won last year's Polaris prize, and received much feedback saying "Hey, F**k you!", but I guess I had that coming.
The point is that the name is a huge part of the "package".
So in the '90s when the Butthole Surfers were enjoying some marginal rocker success, I was reticent, as were many others to, shall we say, "hop on the Butthole Surfer train".
See? Doesn't sound so good, does it?
Think about it, and you will be forced to admit that you're unlikely to venture deeply into the repertoire of an artist whose name turns you off in some way. I remember a conversation with a young lady in the early '90s, and mentioning Rage Against The Machine, only to have her tell me that she wasn't familiar with them as she didn't listen to "that type of music".
As absurd as that statement was, I knew what she meant. It sounds like angry music. They say "Rage" right there in their name.
Again in the '90s (that crazy decade), The Barenaked Ladies were banned from perfoming at Toronto's New Years Eve Party at Nathan Phillip Square by mayor June Rowlands who, if not for the constant folly of Mel Lastman, would still be the all-time mayoral laughing stock based on that item alone. She later claimed she merely thought the name was sexist. Ahh.... so she banned them for SEXISM? Can you imagine how tough she must have been on crime?
An aquaintance recently asked me to listen to a friend of his who is an outstanding musician, and he couldn't understand why he wasn't as famous as any of the artists out there. I listened just a little and concur that this guy is as good as many I've seen; A true artist with skills beyond the average mortal. One of those guys who lives his music and it shows. His material is interesting and unforced.
His name is Nachum Peterseil.
If you're in the office, please just say that name once more out loud, and it'll be 20 seconds before someone administers the Heimlich maneuver.
For some people it works in reverse. For example, Arnold George Dorsey was a charming singer with limited success until he adopted the name of German opera composer Engelbert Humperdinck as his own stage name. It made people take notice, because you almost always had to say his name twice. "Who?"
"I said, Engelbert Humperdinck."
"Oh."
Here are some other notables:
- Robert Zimmerman would still have been awesome, but would he have become as famous as his alter ego, Bob Dylan?
- Does Reginald Kenneth Dwight sound like someone whose rock concert you'd like to see? Well, neither does Elton John these days, but he's given us some of the best music of the last 4 decades.
- Richard Starkey is alright, but nobody forgets Ringo. His wife Barbara Bach on the other hand... (Bond girl - Spy Who Loved Me)
- Joan Marie Larkin sounds like some whiny, backwoods country singer, but don't tell that to Joan Jett of Runaways and Blackhearts fame. She might just kick your ass.
- If someone tries to set you up on a blind date with Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, don't assume she's a freak until after you find out it's Lady Gaga.
- William Michael Albert Broad sounds like some ivy league rich kid with a family crest to the left of the gold buttons on his navy blazer, but Billy Idol was far from that.
- Gordon Summer sounds more like a Miami time share salesman than an artist named "Sting".
- LaDonna Adrian Gaines would have just thrown people off. It's much simpler to turn to your child and say, "The woman masturbating on stage is Donna Summer."
- When the cop arresting you for being drunk and disorderly after trashing a hotel room following a menage a trois, asks for your name, John Michael Osbourne is just too much to remember. "Ozzy" is much easier.
- Saul Hudson sounds like a guy that's playing bridge with my grandma in Boca Raton. "Slash", on the other hand.... is probably playing bridge with my grandma in Boca Raton.
My last word of advice to all the parents-to-be out there: Devote ample attention to what you name your child for it may shape their future prematurely.
If your last name is Bowie, please don't name your child "Zowie". Even if you are high Mr. and Mrs. Marley, you don't name your kid "Ziggy". And for heaven's sake, no matter what your last name is Mr. Zappa, do NOT name your daughter "Moon-Unit"!
Stay in school kids.
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