The Music In Me

People often ask me if I like what I do.

As it pertains to writing about music, the answer is unequivocally "Yes!".

Unfortunately, writing about music as I do, does not guarantee great financial rewards, so I am often forced to prostitute myself by doing less glamorous work, or what is commonly referred to as a "day job".

I blame my parents, or more appropriately, their generation. You see, North America in the 60s was rife with immigrants laying roots in a land that would afford their children a better future. Most were not willing to gamble with that future, which meant they placed great value on very specific education.

"Oh? You'd like to be an actor, a musician, a writer? Well, I'd like to live in a diamond-encrusted mansion with servants and pets who poop 24 karat gold, but that's not reality now, is it?"

No, the antiquated immigrant mentality was to aggressively encourage vocations that ensured security, passion be damned. Happiness was decadence. Humour was for the silly, or the drunk.

We know we should support our children and guide them to cultivate their inherent skills so that when they encounter the inevitable obstacle, they may be equipped to overcome.

It's taught in schools, preached in temples, proclaimed on commercials, and acted out in after-school specials.

"Just do it". - Nike

"Win from Within" - Gatorade

"Shlemiel, shlimazel, hossenpfeffer incorporated.....We're gonna do it!" - Laverne & Shirley

We all believe...until we don't.

So on a February evening, amidst a crowd of commuters scrambling to a basketball game at The Air Canada Centre in Toronto, I see a young woman expertly playing a familiar concerto on the violin. While one might question the venue for such a recital, more interesting was the sign before her that read:

"Just had baby #2, GRADUATED from the University of Toronto,

AND got into OISE (U of T's Ontario Institute for Studies in Education).

Please, help children's violin instructor pay for 1 Last Year of University."

My music writer's curiosity got the best of me, and I handed her my card.

Her name is Kiki Dubé,  a moniker that stuck when her sister Karina tried to say "Kristin".

Kiki's interest in music began when her father Ian, a scientist from Trinidad, showed her the effects of music on the human brain. Fascinated, the child decided to master the violin, at the age of 3.

Ian, and Kiki's mother, Margrete, detected promise in their youngster, and enrolled her into the Royal Conservatory of Music. There, she studied the Suzuki Method under Viennese instructor, Clara Schranz, who eventually founded the Toronto Children's Institute for Music and the Arts. By the time she was 12, Kiki was playing guitar, piano, singing, and teaching classes at TCI.

Eventually, she would take her violin to the streets of Toronto for practice, and by 17, busking would finance her studies at the University of Toronto.

"People would tell me I was talented", Kiki says, "And I just tell them that I did my homework (and loved it). Learning violin is like anything else:  It requires a little practice every day. I tell my students that in order to excel at anything, you must push yourself, even more so during difficult times when you want to quit."

The turning point for Kiki came as an 8th grade student of the York School in Toronto. Her extra-curricular requirements led her to volunteer with veterans at Sunnybrook hospital. She was paired with a wheelchair-bound man who served in both world wars. He had been committed to hospital against his will, and despite sharing a room with 3 others, he was alone in the world. The once formidable soldier could now barely speak or see, was unwilling to participate in activities, and was visibly unhappy. Their only connection was that he too had played violin during the war. The 12 year-old girl knew nothing but to play hers, despite being ignored. On her next visit, she did the same as he stared out the window, seemingly unimpressed and emotionless. For weeks, Kiki continued her private concerts, until eventually witnessing a sign in the form of a single tear streaming down his cheek, a scant grin, or the occasional stifled giggle. On subsequent visits, she would be greeted with a smile, and the staff informed her that he had begun interacting and showing great signs of vigor. She took him for walks, he shared his photo albums, and her visits continued after that school year, and the few that followed. Upon his death, Kiki discovered his wish for her to play at his funeral, but by the time the staff were able to contact her, she had missed it. She was devastated.

It would be years before Kiki realized the gift she had been able to give. While teaching music, she would earn her students' trust and build their confidence during struggles with peer groups, bullying, and general adolescent angst.  She decided to pursue Music Therapy, but even that will have to wait until she finishes Teacher's college.

In 2004, a 21 year-old Kiki planned to complete her 4-year undergraduate program in 5 years, while maintaining 30 students at TCI. She majored in Music, with a double minor in Political Science and Psychology. At 25, she and husband Colin became pregnant, and Kiki would write exams while 7 months pregnant. Baby Owen was born on February 23rd, 2008, and his devoted mother postponed her plans for 2 years, while Colin completed his Bachelor of Music degree from U of T.

Kiki re-enrolled in December of 2009, unaware that history might repeat, but her fall semester and second trimester would be one and the same. Determined to earn her degree, Kiki undertook a heavier course-load, and when baby Madison arrived on February 8th, 2011,  her mom still had 6 weeks to conclude. Kiki nursed her way through straight A's.

Some will say that she does not represent the norm, and is probably a genius, but clearly, Kiki knew one thing instinctively: That for her, a life without music was no life at all.

There is a delicate lyric from Charles Aznavour's 'La Bohème', which states simply, "Nous avions tous du genie", in reference to his youth when "We all possessed some form of genius".

So instead of analyzing probabilities, Kiki worked her way through each day, gradually uncovering her genius within.

Ostensibly, this musical mom sets the best example for her young. "Love and dedication equal success.", she remarks. "It's better to live your passion than to trade it for an uninspired paycheck. The goal... is happiness."

Timing be damned, Kiki and Colin will have their 3rd child just weeks into her fall semester at OISE.

Congratulations!

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