People often ask me if I like what I do.
As it pertains to
writing about music, the answer is unequivocally "Yes!".
Unfortunately, writing
about music as I do, does not guarantee great financial rewards, so I am often forced
to prostitute myself by doing less glamorous work, or what is commonly referred
to as a "day job".
I blame my parents, or
more appropriately, their generation. You see, North America in the 60s was
rife with immigrants laying roots in a land that would afford their children a
better future. Most were not willing to gamble with that future, which meant
they placed great value on very specific education.
"Oh? You'd like
to be an actor, a musician, a writer? Well, I'd like to live in a diamond-encrusted
mansion with servants and pets who poop 24 karat gold, but that's not reality
now, is it?"
No, the antiquated
immigrant mentality was to aggressively encourage vocations that ensured
security, passion be damned. Happiness was decadence. Humour was for the silly,
or the drunk.
We know we should
support our children and guide them to cultivate their inherent skills so that
when they encounter the inevitable obstacle, they may be equipped to overcome.
It's taught in
schools, preached in temples, proclaimed on commercials, and acted out in
after-school specials.
"Just do
it". - Nike
"Win from
Within" - Gatorade
"Shlemiel,
shlimazel, hossenpfeffer incorporated.....We're gonna do it!" - Laverne
& Shirley
We all believe...until
we don't.
So on a February evening, amidst a
crowd of commuters scrambling to a basketball game at The Air Canada Centre in
Toronto, I see a young woman expertly playing a familiar concerto on the
violin. While one might question the venue for such a recital, more interesting
was the sign before her that read:
"Just had baby
#2, GRADUATED from the University of Toronto,
AND got into OISE (U of T's
Ontario Institute for Studies in Education).
Please, help children's violin
instructor pay for 1 Last Year of University."
My music writer's curiosity got the
best of me, and I handed her my card.
Her name is Kiki Dubé, a moniker that stuck when her sister Karina
tried to say "Kristin".
Kiki's interest in music began when her father Ian, a scientist
from Trinidad, showed her the effects of music on the human brain. Fascinated,
the child decided to master the violin, at the age of 3.
Ian, and Kiki's mother, Margrete, detected promise in their
youngster, and enrolled her into the Royal Conservatory of Music. There, she
studied the Suzuki Method under Viennese instructor, Clara Schranz, who
eventually founded the Toronto Children's Institute for Music and the Arts. By the time she was 12, Kiki was playing guitar, piano,
singing, and teaching classes at TCI.
Eventually, she would take her violin to the streets of
Toronto for practice, and by 17, busking would finance her studies at the
University of Toronto.
"People would tell me I was
talented", Kiki says, "And I just tell them that I did my homework
(and loved it). Learning
violin is like anything else: It
requires a little practice every day. I tell my students that in order to excel
at anything, you must push yourself, even more so during difficult times when
you want to quit."
The turning point for Kiki came as
an 8th grade student of the York School in Toronto. Her extra-curricular
requirements led her to volunteer with veterans at Sunnybrook hospital.
She was paired with a wheelchair-bound man who served in both world wars. He
had been committed to hospital against his will, and despite sharing a room
with 3 others, he was alone in the world. The once formidable soldier could now
barely speak or see, was unwilling to participate in activities, and was
visibly unhappy. Their only connection was that he too had played violin during
the war. The 12 year-old girl knew nothing but to play hers, despite being
ignored. On her next visit, she did the same as he stared out the window,
seemingly unimpressed and emotionless. For weeks, Kiki continued her private concerts,
until eventually witnessing a sign in the form of a single tear streaming down
his cheek, a scant grin, or the occasional stifled giggle. On subsequent
visits, she would be greeted with a smile, and the staff informed her that he
had begun interacting and showing great signs of vigor. She took him for
walks, he shared his photo albums, and her visits continued after that school
year, and the few that followed. Upon his death, Kiki discovered his wish for
her to play at his funeral, but by the time the staff were able to contact her,
she had missed it. She was devastated.
It would be years before Kiki
realized the gift she had been able to give. While teaching music, she would earn
her students' trust and build their confidence during struggles with peer
groups, bullying, and general adolescent angst. She decided to pursue Music Therapy, but even
that will have to wait until she finishes Teacher's college.
In 2004, a 21 year-old Kiki planned
to complete her 4-year undergraduate program in 5 years, while maintaining 30
students at TCI. She majored
in Music, with a double minor in Political Science and Psychology. At 25, she
and husband Colin became pregnant, and Kiki
would write exams while 7 months pregnant. Baby Owen was born on February 23rd,
2008, and his devoted mother postponed her plans for 2 years, while Colin
completed his Bachelor of Music degree from U of T.
Kiki re-enrolled in December of
2009, unaware that history might repeat, but her fall semester and second
trimester would be one and the same. Determined to earn her degree, Kiki
undertook a heavier course-load, and when baby Madison arrived on February 8th,
2011, her mom still had 6 weeks to
conclude. Kiki nursed her way through straight A's.
Some will say that she does not
represent the norm, and is probably a genius, but clearly, Kiki knew one thing
instinctively: That for her, a life without music was no life at all.
There is a delicate lyric
from Charles Aznavour's 'La Bohème', which
states simply, "Nous avions tous du genie", in
reference to his youth when "We all possessed some form of genius".
So instead of analyzing
probabilities, Kiki worked her way through each day, gradually uncovering her genius
within.
Ostensibly, this musical mom sets
the best example for her young. "Love and dedication equal success.",
she remarks. "It's
better to live your passion than to trade it for an uninspired paycheck. The
goal... is happiness."
Timing be damned, Kiki and Colin
will have their 3rd child just weeks into her fall semester at OISE.
Congratulations!
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