One-hit Wondering

Everybody loves those silly one-hit wonders. There are some good ones, and some really, really bad ones. Some are released expressly for stand-alone novelty successes, and some decent musicians stumble upon a hook by accident, while other commercial artists wisely produce them for money beneath the veil of a pseudonym.

Here's the story of a man named Rostom Sipan Bagdasarian, who was a pianist, singer, songwriter, actor and record producer in desperate need of a better stage name. He chose David Seville, which barely even contains any of the same letters (and that's a considerable amount of letters). In 1958, he invested in a V-M tape recorder that allowed playback at different speeds (cutting-edge technology at the time). His hit song, Witch Doctor (ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla, bing-bang) marked the first time the world had ever heard that squeaky, high-pitched sound (but apparently not the last). Who would have thought that stumbling upon that little nugget would forge the beginning of a prosperous career? That winter, he released the now "classic" Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) and a new sensation was born. He even won two Grammy Awards that year. Since then, as the owner/uncle of Alvin and the Chipmunks, he has earned a fortune from records, TV shows, and movies. Witch Doctor is still considered a 1-hit wonder.

As far as I am concerned, a one-hit wonder is a song by a singer or group that did nothing else, like Rupaul or Los Del Rio who we can thank for the @#$%^&* Macarena.

If a group is popular among it's followers and releases records that sell, but just don't make the mainstream American charts, are in my humble opinion, not one-hit wonders. Otherwise, the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin would all be on the list. Most of their songs were never top 40 hits, but they sold outstandingly for decades, and are considered rock classics.

So why is it that whenever it is the subject of an MTV, Much Music or VH1 special, I find myself yelling at the TV set, upsetting my wife and dog?

For one thing, Americans (bless their hearts) are a little megalomaniacal, and oblivious to "foreign acts". Now, I'm all for dismissing David Hasselhoff as an artist, but when Tom Cochrane makes the list for Life is a Highway, because it's his only song that made the U.S Billboard charts, it gets silly. There are other nutty examples like Layla, recorded under the name Derek and the Dominos, but who everyone knows is Eric Clapton.

Some of the artists that occupy these lists gain international fame with some catchy earworm that is in no way indicative of their overall repertoire, and can come to define them unjustly.

Stevie Wonder is obviously a prolific artist, but if one more person alludes to his body of work by the song, I Just Called to Say I Love You, I may end up in jail.

Here are some of the songs I discovered on a number of lists with which I disagree. These acts stand accused as one-hit wonders, and sadly, they have only me to defend them.

Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out:This addicitve hit eclipsed all of their other work, and while it may have been their highest charting hit, it's arguably not their best. This group of Bahamian men (hence the name) have been around for 20 years making music in their "Junkanoo" style. As a DJ, I used to play Best Years of Our Lives (featured in the movie Shrek), and if you have kids, they will know many Baha Men songs from the popular Disney Mania albums. They won the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award in 2 different years, and someone has the nerve to call them a 1 hit wonder? What's next, Sharon, Lois and Bram? Raffi? Will these people stop at nothing?

Chris De Burgh - Lady in Red: Seeing this on a VH-1 show really offended me, and I am not even British. This guy had several classic albums, and was renowned as a brilliant musical storyteller in the 70s and 80s with songs like; Spanish Train, Patricia the Stripper, The Traveller, Don't Pay the Ferryman, and more. Now, this lyrical and orchestral wizard is to be pigeonholed for life because of one weak, sentimental moment during which he wrote this sappy ballad? Whoever that "Lady" is, she owes us all an apology.

Cliff Richard - We Don't Talk Anymore: I found this one on-line, and gave the writer a (small) piece of my mind. This is categorically untrue. Cliff Richard hit the U.S. charts several times (including a forgettable duet with Olivia Newton-John in the 80s), but he was huge in Britain and Australia throughout the 60s. He was even known as the British Elvis. This alleged "one hit" is a corny, easy listening tune that represents neither his style nor his stature. He owns the definitive version of the oft-covered, Devil Woman, and he was known to me for other songs even as a child. He has had so many successful records over the decades that Wikipedia has a separate page just for his discography. Need I say more?

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm: VH-1 named them for this, their only U.S. hit (which they almost deserve for not coming up with a better title), but here in Canada they had 7 or 8 hit songs in the 90s. While not a huge fan, I'll be damned if I am going to let VH-1 misrepresent our home-grown talent.

Divinyls - I Touch Myself: A popular group with a hot female lead finds success in a song about her pleasuring herself? D'ya think they had a plan? What surprises me more is that North-Americans had already forgotten their 1985 hit, Pleasure and Pain. That detail notwithstanding, their fans from down-under showed their love with over a dozen hits in a 15 year span. Despite experiencing immeasurable turnover among musicians, founding members Christina Amphlett and Mark McEntee were around for all of them. If you're interested, check out I'm Jealous, and their cover of Roxy Music's Love is the Drug.

Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - What I Am: I can't make much of a fuss about this since her subsequent albums little commercial success, but there were some good tracks on that same Shooting Rubberbands album. Circle was one of my favorites and was also a moderate hit. On the other hand, this one album enabled her to meet, marry, and have a child with the legendary Paul Simon, so we award her points for that.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax: Even if you disregard their 2nd album with hits Rage Hard and Warriors of the Wasteland, They are still not 1-hitters. That first record, Welcome to the Pleasuredome scored a hit with the title track, Two Tribes, and the eerie ballad, The Power of Love. If you ask me, the real culprits were those darned "Frankie Say... Relax" t-shirts that conditioned everyone to believe it was their only hit. Oh and yes, the original t-shirts read "Frankie SAY...", not "Frankie SAYS...", probably because the Frankie in question is the band, and therefore plural, but who knows?

Gary Numan - Cars: Great song, but he also charted in 1979 with Are 'Friends' Electric?. Despite being really weird, Numan had a large and loyal following. He scored a handful of hits in the early 80s including We Are Glass and I Die, You Die (a real spirit-lifter). More importantly, to refer to him as a 1-hitter is to unjustly ignore his contributions to New Wave, Punk and Electronica. He experimented with different genres in the 90s, and while none were commercially succesful, those albums were well-received by critics and devotees.

Inner Circle - Bad Boys (a.k.a. the theme from COPS): VH-1 listed this, but the band has been around since the early 70s with hits in the Carribean and the U.K. Most of you are probably more familiar with their other hit, Sweat (A La La La La Long) which hit the top of the charts everywhere but the U.S., and I am not sure why. Either way, they don't belong on these lists.

The Knack - My Sharona: Technically, they were a 1-album wonder, because Get the Knack was a good record. The project spawned another hit with the song Good Girls Don't, but few seem to remember that. Still, I admit that this one is not worth putting up much of a fight about, because despite their 2nd album selling marginally well, the only song anyone ever wants to hear is still... My Sharona.

Lenny Kravitz - It Ain't Over Till It's Over: Lord have mercy! Wayne Jancik included this in his Billboard Book of One-Hit Wonders. Granted, the book was published in 1999, and Jancik's criteria was strictly cracking Billboard's Top 40, but that is neither an excuse nor does it disprove my point. Lenny Kravitz had already made a name for himself before this song, but convincingly more by the time the book was published. Even in 91, if that was the first you heard of Lenny, then you were in pre-school, and not a very cool one.

Sir Mix-a-lot - Baby Got Back: His inclusion on a "1-hit" list implies that Sir Mix-a-lot only "mixed-a-little", but that is not the case. Despite the success of his catchiest, but least serious tune, he was a legitimate rapper in the late 80s before the cruise ships got wind of diddy in 92. Then, in 1996, he released his 5th album, Return of the Bumpasaurus which featured the single Jump on It, a popular tune that is still played at parties and sporting events, but never really made it into the mainstream charts.

Spandau Ballet - True: Now, I'm not saying I want to sit through a concert, but they were definitely not a one-hit wonder. I know this because my high-school girlfriend used to make-out to the song, Gold. I know I was at least one of those guys. That's right, Spandau Ballet made my "sex soundtrack". I am not ashamed. Some of you have Lionel Richie, Barry Manilow, and 99 Luftballons in yours. The important point is, they had around 10 hits including Round and Round and Only When You Leave.

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations: Oh who are we kidding? This is the mother of all one-hit wonders. Even Mark Wahlberg is embarrassed by this sound-stain. I just threw it in there to see if you were still paying attention.

This list could be much longer because many of the acts deemed to be one-hit wonders do not deserve the classification. In most cases, the song they’re most remembered for is not their best, but it's usually the one that gets in your head and stays there. Unfortunately, often, you really wish it wouldn't.

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