Reservoir hits

Some songs get under your skin the very first time you hear them. It can be a result of a catchy hook, or a lyric that

may just speak to you in a personal way. At times, a song is just so magnificent that it cannot be denied.

There are also songs that need time to grow on you because they may differ from the norm of the era or culture, but it really comes down to whether you ever hear it in the first place. So if a great song is not released as a single because some genius in a suit didn't "get it", or worse, it never makes the album, then it may as well be the proverbial "fallen tree" in the forest.

There are also instances when a song doesn't fit readily into a particular genre so radio stations don't know what to do with it. A country station might say it sounds too R&B, or a rock station might say it sounds too much like disco.

Oh, and sometimes a song just sucks.

The hardest part though, is for a good song just to make its way to your ears. There have been many cases where a song is released and fails, only to be discovered again at a later date.

Rather than speculate endlessly as to the reasons for this, I have compiled a list of 10 songs that became successful long after they were written off as commercial duds.

Please appreciate that I am chronicling some fascinating stories as succinctly as possible. You may prefer to print this out. I take no offense to being read in any room of the house.

Here are just some of those inspirational tales:

At This Moment - Billy Vera and the Beaters: Vera had written songs for artists from Fats Domino to Ricky Nelson to Dolly Parton, but he and pal, Chuck Fiore just wanted to jam. They were playing clubs in Cali when their slick horn section and billy's soulful vocals earned them a recording contract. In 1981, At This Moment was released but never cracked the top 40. In 1985, a producer from the TV show, Family Ties, heard them play it live at a club, and used it as the backdrop for the break-up of

Alex and Ellen (Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan who eventually married in real life). Viewers, including

myself (Yes, I am that old) liked the song, and when Rhino Records released the 1986 album, By Request: The Best of Billy Vera & the Beaters, it hit #1 right away. It lingered on the charts for another 15 weeks and is now considered by some to be a classic. There are 2 versions, but the live recording with the extended improvised riff on the last line, "If I could just hold you again", is the definitive one in my opinion. Check it out for yourself.

Baby Come To Me - Patti Austin: Every aging R&B fan knows this duet with James Ingram, but do they know she was Quincy Jones' goddaughter? Do they know it was written by Rod Temperton, with Michael McDonald (Doobie Bros.) singing background vocals? They do now. The song was on her 1981 album, Every Home Should Have One. It made the Hot 100, but just barely. Then in late '82, General Hospital, the hottest soap of the day, decided to make it

Luke's post-Laura song (Forgive me for not delving into the whole "Luke and Laura" reference. If you don't know, you probably don't care.) ABC's phones exploded, and their mailman had a heart-attack, so Warner Brothers re-released it and it went to #1. Interestingly, it was not hers,

but James Ingrams' career that took off. The song however, has been covered by singers the world over including; Dalida, Daryl Hall, Laura Fygi, Stephanie Winslow and more.

Bad Boys - Inner Circle: This song was recorded first on Inner Circle's 1987 album One Way. They re-recorded it in 1989 for their album Identified, but before it was released, FOX chose it as the theme for the reality TV show 'Cops'. By the time the album was released in '91, the song was already #1 in Sweden. The rest of "avant-garde" Europe followed, but the single wasn't released in America until 1993. Asd a result of it's success in the U.S., the band released another album in '94 with this as the title track and won a Grammy. It only seems fair considering that anytime you hear it, you spend the next few days singing, "Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you?"

Hanky Panky - Tommy James and The Shondells: You all know Tommy James, even if you think you don't. Mony Mony was not a Billy Idol tune first, just as Crimson and Clover was not originally Joan Jett. Some remember Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now, and any

music lover knows Crystal Blue Persuasion. Well, it all started with Hanky Panky. Tommy James was still in high school in 1964 when the Shondells got together in Ohio. A local radio DJ trying to start a label recorded the song, which he would promote by playing it on his station. It caught on locally, but he didn't have the resources to push it past the range of the airwaves, so that's where it stayed. In 1965, a Pittsburgh dance promoter found it in a used record bin, and began playing it at parties. A local bootlegger copied it, and apparently sold 80,000 records in 10 days. It became a hit in Pittsburgh, and local radio DJ, "Mad Mike" Metro called Tommy who's band had all dispersed by then. He walked into a night club, and asked the house band if they wanted to be "The Shondells" for the purpose of touring and TV appearances. They agreed, and after a few appearances, James sold the original master to Roulette Records who re-released it. It hit #1 on the Billboard charts in July of '66, and kicked off an illustrious career for Tommy who ranks among the pioneers of the "Garage Rock" genre, which paved the way for the emergence of Punk and Alt-Rock. So remember his name.

Here I go Again - Whitesnake: The song was written in 1981 by David Coverdale in the aftermath of his previous little project known as Deep Purple (maybe you've heard of them). It was included on the 1982 album Saints 'N' Sinners, and became a moderate hit in the U.K., where it seems they have better musical taste (and were big fans of D.P.). In 1987, a remixed version with new backing vocals was added to the album cleverly entitled, Whitesnake. While

touring with Motley Crue, it became a hit in America, and the English bought it all over again, calling it the "U.S. Mix." It ultimately became an anthem for the "You can do it!" movement that led thousands of men to continue growing their hair and wearing leopard-print spandex long enough to discover they were 45 and still living in mom's basement.

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers: This track was released in 1988. In 1989, twin brothers Craig and Charlie Reid were touring with the Housemartins when the song hit #1 in Australia. Later in the U.S., they had a small following among the hipster set, one of whom was actress Mary Stuart Masterson, co-star of Johnny Depp in the 1993 movie Benny And Joon. Apparently, Masterson kept playing the song during time-outs on the set, and it got under everyone's skin, especially director Jeremiah Chechik. At some point, they just decided it should be in the film, and The Proclaimers were the last to know, but when it became a huge hit in America, they decided not to file a lawsuit. Go figure.

Never Been To Me - Charlene:

Admitting I like this song is tantamount to painting my toenails, but I am man enough to confess at least some of my guilty pleasures.

In 1977, Motown released this song, and it barely cracked the Hot 100. Sometimes when you don't succeed, you try again. Other times, you fail so badly, that you pack your stuff, sell your house, and try to get a spot on Dancing With The Stars. Alas, this was not an option in those days, so Charlene ended up wearing an apron behind the counter of a confectionery shop in England. Then in 1982, some radio DJ in Florida (whose toenails I suspect may have been a little jazzy) started playing the song, and ignited enough popular demand for the label to re-release it. Next thing you know, the apron's in the fireplace, and she's on the next episode of Solid Gold. Unfortunately, the extra 15 minutes of fame gave Motown Prez Berry Gordy the ridiculous notion that he could squeeze another hit out of her. On her next album, she recorded a duet with Stevie Wonder, and even that didn't work. Bless his soul though, Berry gave her one more album and tried to promote her with a sexy video in the movie, The Last Dragon. When that failed, he simply took her out behind the building and pummelled her to death with a coconut stuffed into an old tube sock.

Alright, I can't prove that, but no one has seen her since.

The Twist - Chubby Checker: The song was originally released in 1959 by Hank Ballard as a B-side to Teardrops on Your Letter, but the tune was catchy. Dick Clark heard it and tested it on the American Bandstand audience, who reacted favourably. Unfortunately, Ballard couldn't perform it on the show for several different reasons. Dick had so much clout that he was able to get the record company to agree to let Earnest Evans cover it. Earnest was a local boy who would mimic Fats Domino, Elvis, and other artists of the day. When asked to come up with a stage name, he chose "Chubby Checker" as a parody of the name "Fats Domino" (think about it). In 1960, Checker's version was recorded and started a craze. It made Billboard's #1 in September of 1960. Ballard was not bitter when he heard the "cloned" version of his song, saying "I thought I was listening to myself". Also, he earned enough royalty money from the cover to wash away any prideful sting. Then, while Checker capitalized on the craze by releasing Let's Twist Again and Slow Twistin', other artist like Joey Dee released Peppermint Twist, and others of the "Twist-y" sort. This made the original Twist resurface in January of 1962 and it went to #1 again, a feat that had never been achieved. Is that all? Heck no! The song eventually made it's way to the UK and hit #1 there in 1962 as well. Crazy! Oh, and in 1988, The Fat Boys recorded a rap version with Chubby Checker singing the chorus, and it became a hit again! It even reached #1 in Germany. I guess it takes a heavyweight.

Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce: Jim wrote this song for his unborn son Adrian (later to be known as singer A.J. Croce), and it was on his 1st major label album, You Don't Mess Around With Jim in 1972, but not released as a single. His 2nd LP, Life And Times yielded a #1 hit with Bad Bad Leroy Brown in early '73. Then in September, ABC aired a TV movie called 'She Lives', about a young woman with cancer (who apparently lives). The film features Dezi Arnaz Jr. holding Croce's record and listening to the tear-jerking tune. It caught fire the next day, reviving the album (because again, there was no single). This happened just as he had completed his 3rd project, I Got a Name. On September 21, 1973, 8 days after the show aired (stay with me), the very same day they pre-released the single of the title-track, I Got a Name, Croce was killed in a plane crash. That album was released on December 1st, and while it was climbing up the charts, Time in a Bottle came from behind and became the last #1 hit of the year on December 29th, 1973. That sums up Croce's prolific 2-year career and leaves us wondering what he could have given us in a longer lifetime.

Who Will Save Your Soul - Jewel: She wrote this song around 1990, when she was just 16.

Her producers made her re-record the song for the album which was released in 1995 while the original version played on the radio. It did okay, but wasn't selling big. However, 1996 became the breakout year for female singer/songwriters like Sheryl Crow, Sara McLachlan, Joan Osbourne, and Alanis, and guess who fit right in? Radio stations started playing it, and the demand made them burn more copies. The album was a hit, but more importantly the song she had written when the dream was still a dream had earned validation from the fans. Amateur guitar players will also be happy to know that the whole song is 4 simple chords: Am, C, G, D. Those same people will hate her when they try to figure out the cadence. Sorry.

Now I know you all just learned something new and interesting.

Don't mention it. It's my pleasure.

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Retro Groovin'

The term "Retro" with reference to art or fashion has in recent years, infiltrated our vocabulary.

To hipsters, and anyone trying to sell you something old, retro is cool.

Like your granddaddy's tweed blazer from an age when tailors took pride in every garment they created, and things were not yet mass-produced by robots in China, retro is ostensibly superior.

So what does that say about retro music? Are we talking about "oldies", or a new genre unto itself?

My research led me to the consummate funnel of all modern verity and wisdom: Wikipedia. To paraphrase the "pedia", Retro is "a culturally aged style or trend from the overall postmodern past, that has since become the norm

once again." It goes on to say, "It generally implies a vintage of at least 15 or 20 years."

Not so much about music, but luckily I have a gift for metaphoric translation, so please allow me to elucidate, and if you pay attention, you might find common musical ground between the generations.

Everything is interesting when it's new; Art, fashion, cars, puppies...all eventually lose their lustre when familiarity rears it's tedious little head. We move on to newer things, scoffing at the overexposed banality we left behind, until we discover one day, that we've been scoffing for 15-20 years. Then a torrent of nostalgia motivates us to proudly profess our "guilty" pleasures. We say, "Damn it, I like Boy George, and I don't care who knows it!", and begin belting out the chorus of Karma Chameleon. I caution readers to avoid having this epiphany at a

biker bar. A gay bar is fine.

In any case, a good song is an eternal gift. It can eventually seem dated, but just as a fashionable person can integrate vintage clothing into their modern style, so can an artful musician breathe new life into a classic, or take a previously unsuccessful song, and give it wings. Moreover, a good song-smith can create original music employing a retro mode of expression.

Since the 90s, we have seen an influx of artists who pay hommage to the greats gone-by with elements of their vintage style fused with original modern music. Harry Connick Jr. swooped in with Sinatra-like vocals, while Brian Setzer, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, and Squirrel Nut Zippers saved Swing music from extinction.

The artists below are those that have risen to prominence through a style that appeals to the listener for its hybrid of familiarity and originality. The penultimate compliment to the long-forgotten innovators of any genre, is not to mimic, but to perpetuate by turning their legacy into something new.

Here are some that do it well:

Adele: Everybody knows her now and she is barely 23 years old, but the force is strong in this one. While

extraordinarily unique, her tone conjures images of old songstresses like Nina Simone and Etta James. Her music is fresh, and her style is timeless. She will be around long enough to become the comparative standard for the next generation.

Aloe Blacc: A rapper and musician in several groups for the better part of a decade, he finally shed his anonymity this year with his solo debut, Good Things. You've probably heard I Need A Dollar, and thought you were listening to Bill Withers or Billy Preston. Aloe could easily be mistaken for a one-hit wonder if not for his artistry, vocal prowess, and commanding presence. For further proof, I recommend Loving You is Killing Me (Seriously, you will thank me), and for kicks, his Spanish rendition of John Legend'sOrdinary people.

Amy Winehouse: Long love-line, short lifeline. Her presence was brief, but her legacy ample. Despite calling to mind jazz and R&B legends of yesteryear, both male and female, her sound was never dated. In fact, the traces of hip-hop and funk in her music distinguished her from others who seem to counterfeit the genre. Hers was never disingenuous, and always massively appealing.

Cee-lo Green: Green possesses an old-school R&B flavor in his voice, and alludes to a similar influence in his music. During a recent guest spot on the NBC series, Parenthood, Cee-lo records his interpretation of Erma

Franklin's original version of the Janis Joplin hit,Piece of My Heart... and it smoked. He has an organic soulfulness to his vocals that I liken to Stevie Wonder or Sly (of the family) Stone, and that is some lofty praise. I refer listeners to his 2004 album entitled Cee-Lo Green... Is the Soul Machine, or his 2007 Gnarles Barkley album, St. Elsewhere.

Erykah Badu: Badu pioneered the "Neo-soul" genre, and earned the monniker "First Lady of Neo-Soul" with her Baduizm CD in 1997 (Not just anyone is granted their own "izm"). This hot-lipped babe burst onto the scene so fiercely with her Billie holiday-meets-Foxy Brown style, that we forgave her for wearing those garish head-wraps. We may even forgive her for the 3 children she bore to Andre Benjamin (of Outkast), Common, and D.O.C. respectively. Not because each has a different father, but because she named them Seven Sirius, Puma Sabti Curry, and Mars Merkaba Thedford. As Ms. Holiday once said, "G-d bless the child".

Janelle Monáe: Discovered by Big Boi (of Outkast), this phenomenal 26 year-old somehow managed to fly under the radar for 5 years until 2010's hit, Tightrope. If scientists were to clone and blend the rhythmic DNA of Michael Jackson, James Brown, Lauryn Hill, Prince and Lady Gaga, we might end up with something resembling Janelle. Like most geniuses, she is eccentric, and has created an alter ego named Cindi Mayweather. Cindi is a messianic female android in some neo-orwellian version of earth's future, a concept that Monáe plans to turn into a movie and graphic novel. And I'm exhausted just from writing this blog.

John Legend/The Roots: They should be 2 separate items, but I would inevitably have to mention their collaboration album, Wake Up. The Roots have been regaling us with their funk-infused brand of Hip-Hop since the early '90s, and Legend materialized in 2004 with the Donny Hathaway-esque ballad, Ordinary People. The offspring of this alliance is a CD rife with vintage Philly and Motown R&B, even covering the likes of Marvin Gaye and Teddy Pendergrass. The Roots, who are now the house band on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, have gained respect by merging '70s soul to Rap without compromising the urban sensibility of the music. John Legend is a talented star with a throwback vibe that belies his years. I simply saw this album as a peanut butter cup. Both are great alone, but together... downright decadent.

Michael Buble: Some say he's a white-washed version of the real deal because he rose to stardom on the coattails of the artists he covered. Okay, I was the one that said it but that was before he showed that he could write his own music, and creatively re-invigorate obscure classics for a new audience. Furthermore, as much as I loves me some down-home, rough-edged, dirty rhythm & blues, I'm also a sucker for a well-produced, mid-tempo, finger-snapping, Vegas lounge love song.

Norah Jones: No doubt the daughter of Ravi Shankar was granted both the genetics and the exposure of musicality from her embryonic beginnings, but damned if she isn't the subtle kind of sexy that keeps me interested

long after her contemporaries have been muted. The fact that she debuted on the Blue Note Record label seems fitting given her retro-jazzy influence. She invokes the spirit of greats like Dinah Washington and Ella Fitzgerald, but is an accomplished artist in her own right who need not (and does not) live off covers alone. Easy to enjoy for the casual listener and music afficionado alike.

Raphael Saadiq: This multi-faceted musician was 1 of 2 Wiggins brothers in the 90s R&B group Tony! Toni! Toné!, but he changed his name to Raphael Saadiq so that he could never be confused with anyone else (He and Englebert Humperdinck). The best story I found was of his audition to play bass in Sheila E's band. He got the gig, and went on tour... with Prince... just before his 18th birthday! Saadiq's devotion to the vintage soul of Motown and Staxx records is so strong that the release of his 2008 album, The Way I See It, included in addition to the traditional CD, a collector's edition box-set of 45s (I just lost everyone under 35). This album honors those styles so authentically, that my cousin refused to believe the songs were not remakes, even though every single one was an original Saadiq production. There's a lot more where that came from in Saadiq's past and future.

I can go on to praise singers like Joss Stone, or go further back to Sade, but my mission is only to provide the spark. If you appreciate vintage jazz like Sarah Vaughan and Louis Armstrong, or classic soul singers like Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, and Al Green, but you think those days are gone, think again. The spirit lives on, and the music is being handed down to your children.

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One-hit Wondering

Everybody loves those silly one-hit wonders. There are some good ones, and some really, really bad ones. Some are released expressly for stand-alone novelty successes, and some decent musicians stumble upon a hook by accident, while other commercial artists wisely produce them for money beneath the veil of a pseudonym.

Here's the story of a man named Rostom Sipan Bagdasarian, who was a pianist, singer, songwriter, actor and record producer in desperate need of a better stage name. He chose David Seville, which barely even contains any of the same letters (and that's a considerable amount of letters). In 1958, he invested in a V-M tape recorder that allowed playback at different speeds (cutting-edge technology at the time). His hit song, Witch Doctor (ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla, bing-bang) marked the first time the world had ever heard that squeaky, high-pitched sound (but apparently not the last). Who would have thought that stumbling upon that little nugget would forge the beginning of a prosperous career? That winter, he released the now "classic" Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) and a new sensation was born. He even won two Grammy Awards that year. Since then, as the owner/uncle of Alvin and the Chipmunks, he has earned a fortune from records, TV shows, and movies. Witch Doctor is still considered a 1-hit wonder.

As far as I am concerned, a one-hit wonder is a song by a singer or group that did nothing else, like Rupaul or Los Del Rio who we can thank for the @#$%^&* Macarena.

If a group is popular among it's followers and releases records that sell, but just don't make the mainstream American charts, are in my humble opinion, not one-hit wonders. Otherwise, the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin would all be on the list. Most of their songs were never top 40 hits, but they sold outstandingly for decades, and are considered rock classics.

So why is it that whenever it is the subject of an MTV, Much Music or VH1 special, I find myself yelling at the TV set, upsetting my wife and dog?

For one thing, Americans (bless their hearts) are a little megalomaniacal, and oblivious to "foreign acts". Now, I'm all for dismissing David Hasselhoff as an artist, but when Tom Cochrane makes the list for Life is a Highway, because it's his only song that made the U.S Billboard charts, it gets silly. There are other nutty examples like Layla, recorded under the name Derek and the Dominos, but who everyone knows is Eric Clapton.

Some of the artists that occupy these lists gain international fame with some catchy earworm that is in no way indicative of their overall repertoire, and can come to define them unjustly.

Stevie Wonder is obviously a prolific artist, but if one more person alludes to his body of work by the song, I Just Called to Say I Love You, I may end up in jail.

Here are some of the songs I discovered on a number of lists with which I disagree. These acts stand accused as one-hit wonders, and sadly, they have only me to defend them.

Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out:This addicitve hit eclipsed all of their other work, and while it may have been their highest charting hit, it's arguably not their best. This group of Bahamian men (hence the name) have been around for 20 years making music in their "Junkanoo" style. As a DJ, I used to play Best Years of Our Lives (featured in the movie Shrek), and if you have kids, they will know many Baha Men songs from the popular Disney Mania albums. They won the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award in 2 different years, and someone has the nerve to call them a 1 hit wonder? What's next, Sharon, Lois and Bram? Raffi? Will these people stop at nothing?

Chris De Burgh - Lady in Red: Seeing this on a VH-1 show really offended me, and I am not even British. This guy had several classic albums, and was renowned as a brilliant musical storyteller in the 70s and 80s with songs like; Spanish Train, Patricia the Stripper, The Traveller, Don't Pay the Ferryman, and more. Now, this lyrical and orchestral wizard is to be pigeonholed for life because of one weak, sentimental moment during which he wrote this sappy ballad? Whoever that "Lady" is, she owes us all an apology.

Cliff Richard - We Don't Talk Anymore: I found this one on-line, and gave the writer a (small) piece of my mind. This is categorically untrue. Cliff Richard hit the U.S. charts several times (including a forgettable duet with Olivia Newton-John in the 80s), but he was huge in Britain and Australia throughout the 60s. He was even known as the British Elvis. This alleged "one hit" is a corny, easy listening tune that represents neither his style nor his stature. He owns the definitive version of the oft-covered, Devil Woman, and he was known to me for other songs even as a child. He has had so many successful records over the decades that Wikipedia has a separate page just for his discography. Need I say more?

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm: VH-1 named them for this, their only U.S. hit (which they almost deserve for not coming up with a better title), but here in Canada they had 7 or 8 hit songs in the 90s. While not a huge fan, I'll be damned if I am going to let VH-1 misrepresent our home-grown talent.

Divinyls - I Touch Myself: A popular group with a hot female lead finds success in a song about her pleasuring herself? D'ya think they had a plan? What surprises me more is that North-Americans had already forgotten their 1985 hit, Pleasure and Pain. That detail notwithstanding, their fans from down-under showed their love with over a dozen hits in a 15 year span. Despite experiencing immeasurable turnover among musicians, founding members Christina Amphlett and Mark McEntee were around for all of them. If you're interested, check out I'm Jealous, and their cover of Roxy Music's Love is the Drug.

Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - What I Am: I can't make much of a fuss about this since her subsequent albums little commercial success, but there were some good tracks on that same Shooting Rubberbands album. Circle was one of my favorites and was also a moderate hit. On the other hand, this one album enabled her to meet, marry, and have a child with the legendary Paul Simon, so we award her points for that.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax: Even if you disregard their 2nd album with hits Rage Hard and Warriors of the Wasteland, They are still not 1-hitters. That first record, Welcome to the Pleasuredome scored a hit with the title track, Two Tribes, and the eerie ballad, The Power of Love. If you ask me, the real culprits were those darned "Frankie Say... Relax" t-shirts that conditioned everyone to believe it was their only hit. Oh and yes, the original t-shirts read "Frankie SAY...", not "Frankie SAYS...", probably because the Frankie in question is the band, and therefore plural, but who knows?

Gary Numan - Cars: Great song, but he also charted in 1979 with Are 'Friends' Electric?. Despite being really weird, Numan had a large and loyal following. He scored a handful of hits in the early 80s including We Are Glass and I Die, You Die (a real spirit-lifter). More importantly, to refer to him as a 1-hitter is to unjustly ignore his contributions to New Wave, Punk and Electronica. He experimented with different genres in the 90s, and while none were commercially succesful, those albums were well-received by critics and devotees.

Inner Circle - Bad Boys (a.k.a. the theme from COPS): VH-1 listed this, but the band has been around since the early 70s with hits in the Carribean and the U.K. Most of you are probably more familiar with their other hit, Sweat (A La La La La Long) which hit the top of the charts everywhere but the U.S., and I am not sure why. Either way, they don't belong on these lists.

The Knack - My Sharona: Technically, they were a 1-album wonder, because Get the Knack was a good record. The project spawned another hit with the song Good Girls Don't, but few seem to remember that. Still, I admit that this one is not worth putting up much of a fight about, because despite their 2nd album selling marginally well, the only song anyone ever wants to hear is still... My Sharona.

Lenny Kravitz - It Ain't Over Till It's Over: Lord have mercy! Wayne Jancik included this in his Billboard Book of One-Hit Wonders. Granted, the book was published in 1999, and Jancik's criteria was strictly cracking Billboard's Top 40, but that is neither an excuse nor does it disprove my point. Lenny Kravitz had already made a name for himself before this song, but convincingly more by the time the book was published. Even in 91, if that was the first you heard of Lenny, then you were in pre-school, and not a very cool one.

Sir Mix-a-lot - Baby Got Back: His inclusion on a "1-hit" list implies that Sir Mix-a-lot only "mixed-a-little", but that is not the case. Despite the success of his catchiest, but least serious tune, he was a legitimate rapper in the late 80s before the cruise ships got wind of diddy in 92. Then, in 1996, he released his 5th album, Return of the Bumpasaurus which featured the single Jump on It, a popular tune that is still played at parties and sporting events, but never really made it into the mainstream charts.

Spandau Ballet - True: Now, I'm not saying I want to sit through a concert, but they were definitely not a one-hit wonder. I know this because my high-school girlfriend used to make-out to the song, Gold. I know I was at least one of those guys. That's right, Spandau Ballet made my "sex soundtrack". I am not ashamed. Some of you have Lionel Richie, Barry Manilow, and 99 Luftballons in yours. The important point is, they had around 10 hits including Round and Round and Only When You Leave.

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations: Oh who are we kidding? This is the mother of all one-hit wonders. Even Mark Wahlberg is embarrassed by this sound-stain. I just threw it in there to see if you were still paying attention.

This list could be much longer because many of the acts deemed to be one-hit wonders do not deserve the classification. In most cases, the song they’re most remembered for is not their best, but it's usually the one that gets in your head and stays there. Unfortunately, often, you really wish it wouldn't.

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Bondfire in the rain

Have you ever seen so many people in complete shock over a story about which no one seems surprised?

The tragic and premature, but almost inevitable death of singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse puts her in the eternal company of some of the most heralded young musicians in history. Another prodigious talent joins the 27 club* of Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and others whose potential will forever remain a mystery.

As I write this, the cause of her death is being classified by the media as "unexplained", but I don't need a medical degree to know that drug and alcohol abuse played a headlining role.

The London Police issued a statement saying that to assume Winehouse's death was drug-related, is inappropriate.

Say what?

Hey, unless the investigation determines that she was killed in a terrorist attack, or viciously mauled to death by one of Siegfried & Roy 's rogue Bengal tigers, I defy anyone to hold a press conference with a straight face, and claim that substance abuse was not at the root of the cause.

Then again, the first stage of grieving is denial.

When Jimi Hendrix died, the reports indicated that he "drowned in his own vomit, consisting mostly of red wine." It also showed that in addition to the various substances dancing through his system, were about 10 sleeping pills, which may have led to his inability to awaken and save himself.

Get the point?

Herein lies the sadness.

The young woman whose biggest hit stated, "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said, "No,no,no."", did eventually go to rehab kicking and screaming, but it just didn't take. More importantly, like so many brilliant artists, there was something about all the success that she simply was not ready to deal with.

Regardless of those facts, we will remember her more for her contribution to music, than for her human flaws.

There is little I can add that hasn't already been said about Winehouse's exceptional talent, so I bow my head respectfully, and refer back to my own words.

These are a couple of things I have stated about Amy over the last couple of years:

Amy Winehouse: "Another young white brit who grew up listening to Al Green, Etta James, and Donny Hathaway. The only thing I can say about her is that I believed everything she has sung so far. There is soul in her lyrics and her singing. I am a fan, and can only hope that she can follow it up with something equally worthy of my admiration, but even if she doesn't, I'll always have albums Back To Black and Frank. Thank you for that, Amy." April 29th, 2010 http://www.metronews.ca/toronto/blog/post/514966

"Best New Artist" Grammy 2008 - Amy Winehouse (Runners up - Feist, Taylor Swift): I heard someone say, "Where?", and that's a legitimate question. She's the Haley's Comet of great artists, but no one disputes the quality of the material she gave us. At least we now know that rumors of her cohabitation with Osama Bin Laden were false. May 8th, 2011 http://www.metronews.ca/toronto/blog/post/854543

We all know what they say about the stars that burn brightest, and though we wanted to see so much more of that glow, we will have to content ourselves with what she was able to leave behind.

Thankfully, her legacy is still greater than most of us could ever hope to bequeath.

I implore you all to remember her for that.

Find your peace, little Amy. Amen.

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*All died at age 27.

Hard Rockin' Ballads

Most of us do not remember this, but there is a reason why the birth of Rock n' Roll was the cause of such controversy. Before the 1950s, mainstream music was always so polite and inoffensive, regardless of lyrical content.

During the big band era of the late 40s, Mr. Leo Fender first began mass-producing the electric guitar, which may very well have been the beginning of the end for Mildred Bailey and the Andrews Sisters (and probably the name "Mildred" in general).

Incidentally, the aforementioned guitar was neither the Telecaster nor the Stratocaster, rather a rare solid-bodied predecessor known as the "Broadcaster". I only mention this because if you ever see one, don't touch it unless you either have a lot of money, or intend to steal it. It is likely worth as much as the average Mercedes.

I digress.

In 1950, most parents hated Rock n' Roll. The entire establishment; teachers, policemen, housewives and politicians, all agreed that Rock n' Roll was distasteful, and represented a rebellious phase that would not be tolerated. In short, Rock n' Roll was super-cool!

What made it controversial was that it took the secret underbelly of the musical world; the saloons and speak-easys, and brought it right into homes and schools.

Rock combined the Country & Western pace with the attitude of dirty down-home delta Blues and the free-flowing, anything-goes rhythm of Jazz. Throw in some hard drums and a now-amplified guitar, and the peace in Repressville was undoubtedly to be disturbed.

Fast forward to the mid-60s, and parents had already been slightly desensitized, so it became necessary to explore new alternatives to provoke the folks. Rockers added distortion, and kicked up the volume just a little bit more.

Consequently, there now existed a community of virtuosos who, for the first time in history, had been playing electric guitars all their lives. Good guitarists had discovered not only how to distort, but how to bend chords and sustain and vibrate high notes so that they shrieked and wailed like... well, like the devil (and we all know what the devil sounds like).

Ever since, Rock music has become synonymous with fearlessness, anarchy, and a "We're not gonna take it" attitude. The word "soft" when describing Rock has never been a compliment.

Following Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple in the 60s, the 70s brought a wave of "Heavy Metal" bands. The term "Heavy Metal" was taken from the lyrics of Steppenwolf's Born to Be Wild ("Heavy metal thunder"), perhaps the theme song for the original movement.

Once again, this music was intended to shock the establishment, and challenge their notions of propriety and authority. Still, amidst the chaos of youth, humanity always managed to shine through the tiny cracks in the armour of every artist. Eventually, life gives birth to the most common theme in the world of art... "Love".

It seems that the most bad-ass, hard-rocking groups of all time, inevitably broadened their audience with a passionate ballad, as we are all, in one way or another, simply lovers. (Pause for teary-eyed reflection)

Whether celebrating its discovery, lamenting it's loss, or contemplating the cruel paradox of the very concept itself, "Love" has inspired the most classic melodies of the last century, and many of those have sprung from the hardest rocking musicians.

This is a list of some of the sweetest ballads bestowed upon us by some of the heaviest bands:

Anybody Listening? by Queensryche: I never paid attention to this group in its heyday because they frightened me, but when I first heard this song, I was sold. Yes, someone is listening. Me.

Beth by KISS: Some argue that KISS was not always that "hard" a rock band, but they certainly were before they slowed down to record this one. It is the only Kiss song on which the band did not play their own instruments. Peter Criss' vocals were backed by a piano and a string orchestra. It is also their biggest selling single.

Changes by Black Sabbath: Co-written and sung by Ozzy Osbourne in the early 70s, this was the 1st downbeat song they ever did, and it was such the antithesis to their style that they never performed it live until the 90s (without Ozzy).

Close My Eyes Forever by Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne: Neither the hard-edged former lead-guitarist of the Runaways, nor the "Prince of Darkness" give off the warm and fuzzy vibe, but they showed their "metal" on this heavy-duty ballad. It's Ozzy at his most melodic, and Lita at her emotional best.

Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead: Okay, so Radiohead was more Alt-Rock than Metal but they performed some awesome ballads and I felt that their generation needed to be thrown a bone here. Other notable slow jams are High and Dry and the eerie, Creep.

Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue: One of the first songs to be dubbed a "Power ballad". So good that it was recently covered by Carrie Underwood, and is featured in a great scene by Rob Corddry in the movie Hot Tub Time Machine.

Love Bites by Def Leppard: With so many hits in the 80s, this was their only #1 song. Still holds up.

November Rain by Guns N' Roses: These guys rocked it uptempo, mid-tempo, and with slow jams like this one as well as Patience, and a few others.

Still Loving You by Scorpions: Germany's ambassadors of hard rock, with lead vocals by Klaus Meine, showed their exceptional musicality with this crescendo-building masterpiece.

The Unforgiven by Metallica: Let's just say "This ain't your mama's ballad". Unlike Nothing Else Matters, and One, this was a successful experiment in performing a ballad without going soft. It's hard-hitting and rife with distortion, but also brilliantly melodic.

You and I by Alice Cooper: By today's standards, Alice Cooper, whose performances were always "macabre", wasn't all that hard, but their image was. This delicate tune was an interesting contradiction at the time, and still finds its way onto radio, into films, and the occasional tender video montage.

So don't be surprised when your favourite hardcore rebels eventually wind up on easy listening radio stations. Good music is good music.

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Cross-cultural Harmony

Aren't duets great? When two different artists get together to create new sounds, it can be a revelation.

Ever since Julio Iglesias teamed up with Willie Nelson to record a rendition of Bobby Vinton's To All The Girls I've Loved Before, I have come to appreciate the potency of a well-conceived collaboration.

I apologize if the sarcasm volume was up a little too on with that one, but that ill-advised musical aberration aside, I still maintain that separate tastes can often come together with agreeable results.

On a global scale, musicians like Paul Simon and Peter Gabriel have explored far beyond their musical comfort zones for years. On the now classic Graceland album, Paul Simon solicited the spirited musicianship of Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Peter Gabriel has spent the last 2 decades exploring his musical horizons with the likes of Youssou'N Dour, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Papa Wemba and more. Sting sang Desert Rose with Cheb Mami, claiming that sentiments were understood despite the language barrier.

These socio-linguistic combinations usually result in more complex, and consequently less commercial projects, but infinitely more interesting than hearing Justin Beiber sing about a perky 15 year-old he made eye-contact with at the mall (not that we all don't appreciate those lofty tales of profound affection).

My musical library is culturally varied (as is my family background), and my brother has a penchant for, and actually seeks out peculiar cross-cultural concoctions, so I have heard many strange and sensational pairings from the four corners of the world.

Every now and then, something awesome this way comes, and I am compelled to explore.

I recently heard a great story about a beloved American artist that piqued my interest.

India Arie is an award-winning and humbly introspective musician who consistently places more importance on substance than sales. She is renowned among critics and fans alike for her tireless pursuit of originality and truth.

A couple of years ago, while vacationing in Israel, India spent a few scarce hours basking in the rich historical surroundings. Inevitably, she gravitated toward artistic establishments and probed local music enthusiasts about their most influential home-grown musicians.

The response was repeatedly, and almost unanimously, "Idan Raichel".

One of the holy land's most interesting musical groups, The Idan Raichel Project has emerged over the last few years with their atypical fusion of classic African, Caribbean, Middle Eastern and Latin sounds, juxtaposed with modern electronic production.

I first discovered him in 2005 when a copy of his new CD enitled Mi'ma'amakim (Hebrew for "From the Depths") landed on the desk of our publication's music editor. It caught my eye as it was being cast aside, and when I asked if I could have it, I was met with a look that suggested I was, in some way unclean, and malodorous. Never the less, it was bestowed upon me.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I couldn't have guessed it. The CD was comprised of sound combinations that can best be described as "unconventional", but it had the most necessary ingredient in music: Soul.

Now here's the part of the story I like. Arie simply found out where Raichel lived, went to his apartment, knocked on his door, and introduced herself. She claims she heard his music and understood him right away.

This cosmic introduction led to a blessed musical union. Now, over 2 years since their meeting, after collaborating on over 14 songs, Arie claims she has found her musical soul-mate.

The fruit of this merging of kindred musical spirits is a new album entitled, Open Door.

Arie and Raichel have said that their goal was "...to create a collection of cross-genre songs that are poignantly relevant to a global audience."

Apparently, the album features songs in both Hebrew and English. The lyrics speak of acceptance, unity, and struggling to forge cultural divides.

Arie and Raichel performed publicly together for the first time last summer, then subsequently at the Nobel Peace Prize Ceremony in December '10.
Open Door, which has been complete for some time now, was projected for release this month, but has since been pushed to October of 2011.
Critics are roaring, and fans of both artists are delirious in anticipation of this musical milestone.

Here in Canada, most of us are familiar with Arie, but it should be noted that Idan Raichel performed at the CNE's Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto in 2009 to a virtually sold-out crowd.

Raichel came to us courtesy of Ravid Dahan of Motek Productions, whose mission is similarly to bridge the cultural divide by showcasing the artistic disposition of a country that is sometimes viewed, by the unenlightened, in a less than complimentary fashion.

I thank her, and all of those who reach their hands across the oceans to unite us all through music, and provide us with an "Open Door" toward world peace.

Look for pre-released Open Door tracks on YouTube.

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All in the family

While our differences make us unique, it is our similarities that unite us.

Compatibility is harmony.

You may have inherited your father's nose, and you may have your mother's breasts (not so great if you're a guy), but from where did you get your personality? From whom did you receive your sense of humor, artistic perspective or musicality?

The debate of nature vs. nurture is nullified when you grow up in a full family home, and your genetic footprint is provided by the very same people that influence your environment. That is why children of musical parents largely wind up musical.

Stevie Wonder used to use multi-track recording to back up his own vocals. After all, whose voice is more compatible with yours than your own? By that token, the next best harmonic and rhythmic synergy would come from those who hereditarily share your very same gifts .

For this reason, I have chosen to pay tribute to some of the great family acts in popular music history.

Unfortunately, there are way too many to list, so for editorial purposes, I am only including acts that are made up entirely of family members. I have made exceptions for cousins and in-laws, which will heretofore be referred to as "The Pips rule", but stay with me. It'll be fun.

Some of the people who didn't meet the criteria but deserve mention are Sly and the Family Stone, because while there was Sly, Freddy, and Rose Stone, more than half the group was comprised of other musicians which were not related in any way.

Then there were the Finn brothers from New Zealand, who had a little band called Split Enz in the early 80s, and then another group you may have heard of called, Crowded House after that. Same story.

I can't forget the prodigious Brothers Johnson, discovered by Quincy Jones at age 16 and 17 respectively, and had numerous hits in the 70s including one of my favourite dance tunes, Stomp.

When I began listing, I was surprised at how many great family groups came to mind, but if I leave out one of your favorites, please feel free to educate readers with your comments below.

Here they are:

The Andrews Sisters: Do you hear that deafening silence? That's because the only people who remember them are either dead, deaf or couldn't possibly read this small a font. And yet, everyone knows Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, whose style is the yardstick by which good swing music is still measured. It's been covered by everyone from Bette Midler to Christina Aguilera. My favourite is a little yiddish tune by the 3 shiksas called Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen.

Bee Gees: Arguably, the most prolific musical family of all time (although Michael and Janet Jackson's solo careers easily provide the tie-breaker). They have endured 5 decades and the death of 2 of 4 brothers. The Gibbs wrote, produced and performed so many classics for themselves and others, that if I devoted the entire blog to them alone, it would not be enough. Their classic rock days produced To Love Somebody, Words, and I Started a Joke, before they transitioned to disco. The Saturday Night Fever soundtrack sold around 400 zillion copies, and they really never stopped.

The Cowsills: The Partridge family were not a real family (unless you count the fact that Shirley Jones was David Cassidy's stepmom), but the family they modeled the show after, were the Cowsills. Their 1st big hit was The Rain, The Park and Other Things, but most people know their definitive version of the title track from the musical Hair.

Gladys Knight & the Pips: The Pips included Gladys' brother "Bubba" and cousins Edward Patten and William Guest. Hence, "The Pips rule". Gladys' voice with Pips' interactive back-up vocals made every performance outstanding. From their rendition of Heard It Through The Grapevine to Midnight Train To Georgia, the rule was created because this list doesn't make sense without them.

Hanson: I only now 3 songs and one of them is MmBop, but whenever I have seen them perform, they've been great. It's not their fault that their 1st song was so damn catchy.

The Isley Brothers: Kelly, Rudolph, Ronald and Vernon Isley scored their first hit, Shout, in 1959, but it wasn't until '62 that they added the "twist" and scored their next hit, Twist and Shout (Yes, before the Beatles). It was almost 4 more years until their next triumph with This Old Heart of Mine, and then another 3 years before 5th brother Ernie Isley joined to provide the now classic bass-line for their smash hit, It's Your Thing. Then came baby brother Marvin and brother-in-law, Chris Jasper to usher in their Funk-Soul period with songs like Fight The Power and Between the Sheets. Rumour has it that eldest brother Kelly is actually 117 years old now, and they're still touring.

Jacksons: If you include the sum of all parts, this is undisputedly the most successful musical family since the Shmenge Brothers. Individually, they have all played a part in the family's success. Or in Latoya's case, were GIVEN a part. Still, nobody helped her pose nude for Playboy. She did that all by herself. Bravo.

Jonas Brothers: Not really big in my demographic, but you can never argue with success, and if I survived the Osmonds, I can survive these guys.

Kings of Leon: The Followill brothers with cousin Matthew started off with Southern rock and blues, but they spent the last decade experimenting with different genres and it brought them to the big stage. Since 2009 they have had hits like Use Somebody and Sex On Fire, and even won a few Grammies.

The Neville Brothers: Everyone knows Aaron Neville's one-hit wonder, Tell it Like it Is, from 1967. Nothing else happened for 10 years until his uncle Big Chief Jolly, a Mardi Gras Indian in New Orleans asked he and brothers Art, and Cyril to lend their voices to a track he was recording. Later that year, with the addition of brother Charles, the Neville Brothers were formed. Not many commercial hits, but they were innovative interpreters of great music, won a grammy for an instrumental tune called Healing Chant, and were renowned for their live performances.

The Osmonds: If you tell someone now, that you used to confuse the Osmonds' songs with the Jackson 5's, they're liable to slap you with Michael Jackson's other glove, but at the time, it was actually true. Now, we all know which group prevailed, but Donny and Marie are like a poorly-filled tooth, and the pain just keeps coming back.

Pointer Sisters: In 1969, Bonnie and June sang backup for stars like Grace Slick, Boz Scaggs and Elvin Bishop. They added little sister Anita, and enjoyed only marginal success until baby Ruth (no relation to the candy bar) joined them around 1973. You probably wouldn't recognize their early works which were primarily Be-bop and Jazz, but it was quality music. Then Bonnie embarked on her solo career which bore that 1 disco hit, Heaven Must Have Sent You, just in time for the remaining 3 to catch fire. Literally, they had a hit with their version of Bruce Sprigsteen's, Fire. Then came a decade of non-stop hits like He's So Shy, Slow Hand, I'm So Excited, Jump (for my love), and the list goes on. In 2009, Anita and Bonnie were at The "Kibitz Room" at Canter's in LA, when the house band invited them to jam. They sang Fire, and half the room was saying, "Who are these old ladies?", but everyone over 35 understood the magnitude of what they just witnessed.

SheDaisy: Me Likesy SheDaisy. I barely know their music, because every time I see them perform, the blood rushes away from my ears. Seriously though, it's their talent that feeds that sex-appeal. The Osborne sisters have had a slew of hits like This Woman Needs, Don't Worry 'bout a Thing, and God Bless the American Housewife.

The Staple Singers: Roebuck "Pops" Staples formed the group with his children Cleotha, Pervis, Yvonne, and Mavis. With gospel roots, they added a little soul which made them successful as a pop group. You'll recognize hits I'll Take You There and Respect Yourself, but the family motif may lose it's appeal next time you hear their hit, Let's Do It Again.

Other groups that deserve honorable mention are:

The Band Perry: If I Die Young, You Lie

The Carpenters: Close To You, Superstar

The Corrs: What Can I do, Closer

DeBarge: Rhythm of the Night, Time Will Reveal

The Everly Brothers: Wake Up Little Susie, Let It Be Me

Sister Sledge: We Are Family, He's the Greatest Dancer

K-Ci&JoJo, Mary Mary, The Winans, Tegan & Sara, The Gap Band, The Muldoons, The 5 Stairsteps.... hey, it's all about family.

Lyrically Yours

As far back as history can relate, at the very threshold of civilization, human beings desired interactions, and there was need of individual expression. Eventually, somewhere amidst the grunts of neanderthals emerged the odd involuntary melodic murmur. Those chance sounds gave birth to what came to be known as... Music.

Years later, as the human brain evolved, man learned to communicate with more descriptive language, and this gave rise to what would be... Poetry.

Then, on the glorious day when the poet met the singer, and a slouching homosapien slapped 2 sticks against a rock, and the first bipedal primate with 3 strings wound tightly on a wooden plank began to coax a blessed sound from his, as yet untitled apparatus, man realized the infancy of an art form.

And this day was far more magnificent than the morning when someone's chocolate fell into their neighbour's peanut butter. This was the pre re-"naissance" of the holy trinity of artistic expression; voice, words, and harmonious musical instruments.

Poetry may be a wonder unto itself, but when coupled with melodic orchestrations, it becomes what Jimi Hendrix fans would call... an experience!

I urge my readers to participate in sharing the mellifluous lyrics they cherish most: The words that nurtured you through times of uncertainty, the clarification of an emotion with which you thought you alone identified.

This is not a list of best or worst. Only the most notable within the soundtracks of our lives.

My soundtrack is large, varied in genre, and multilingual. There have been verses both profound and pedestrian that spoke to me through the years.

Here's a descriptive bit of witticism by Paul Simon that always made me laugh. The song's character Duncan, recounts his leaving home for the first time and meeting a hippie girl at a campsite. Of this memory he says:

"Just later on the very same night, I crept to her tent with a flashlight,
and my long years of innocence ended. Well, she took me to the woods saying "here comes something and it feels so good" and, just like a dog I was befriended... I was befriended."

Ah, the delightful imagery of young adulthood.

Here are some more excerpts I'd like to share with you:

"Masquerading as a man with a reason. My charade is the event of the season.
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know." Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas

"...And the sun pours down like honey on our lady of the harbour,
And she shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers.
There are heroes in the seaweed. There are children in the morning. They are leaning out for love, and they will lean that way forever, while Suzanne holds the mirror. And you want to travel with her, and you want to travel blind, and you know that you can trust her for
she's touched your perfect body with her mind." - Suzanne by Leonard Cohen

"I have only one burning desire... Let me stand next to your fire." Fire by Jimi Hendrix

"Unclean minds mislead the pure. The innocent will leave for sure.
For them there is a resting place. People sinning just for fun.
They will never see the sun, for they can never show their faces.
There ain't no room for the hopeless sinner who will take more than he will give... and he ain't hardly gonna give." They Won't Go When I Go by Stevie Wonder

"Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white. And in between the moon and you the angels get a better view of the crumbling difference between wrong and right. And I walk in the air between the rain, through myself and back again...Where? I don't know." Round Here by Counting Crows

"I thought I knew, but now I know that rose trees never grow in New York City.
Until you've seen this trash can dream come true. You stand at the edge while people run you through. And I thank the Lord there's people out there like you." Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters by Elton John (Lyrics by Bernie Taupin)

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy 'cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets while we stand aside and look?..." Redemption Song by Bob Marley

"You got to breathe and have some fun, though I'm not paid I play this game,
and I won't stop until I'm done. But what I really want to know is...
Are you gonna go my way ?"

Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz

"I don't care about their different thoughts. Different thoughts are good for me.
Up in arms and chased in whole, all God's children took their toll.
Look my eyes are just holograms. Look your love has drawn red from my hands
From my hands you know you'll never be more than twist in my sobriety." Twist In My Sobriety by Tanita Tikaram

There are so many more to share. Please post your comments here, or on my facebook page.

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More Cheese, Please

Popular music, like fashion is a funny thing to look back on, and appreciate with timely perspective.

Anyone who has seen a picture of dad in the 70s with ridiculous sideburns, loudly striped bell-bottoms, huge-collared shirts, and those fishbowl spectacles that made your eyes look like a couple of 8-balls about to jump out of your head, knows what I mean.

That was about the time all of the 50s nostalgia began with TV shows like Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley, movies like American Graffiti and Grease, and bands like Sha Na Na even had their own variety show. 10 year-olds thought it was cool, but parents scoffed at the absurd hairstyles, short pants and bobby-socks they left behind.

That was when Disco became popular... for a while. Then around 1980, it became supremely un-cool for what seemed an eternity, until it returned to a young new crowd whose memories of the former were infantile. To the big hair, big shoulder, big shoe generation of the early 90s, old disco had a lovably kitschy appeal.
Those poor sad children that fell in between. Those kids, now mid to late 40s, who spent their teenage years with a "Disco Sucks" mentality, have in many cases, never fully recovered. Conditioned to envision shimmery shirts, designer jeans and high-heeled shoes whenever they hear what 30 year-olds call "the theme from Boogie Nights", they have spent their lives denying its appeal. Only rock music is cool, raw, and badass! Or is it bad-assed? I digress.

I use the example of disco because of it's brazen flamboyance, but the sentiment to which I refer is what some might call "cheesy".

There has always been, and will always be an element of the musical community that is "campy", or "Kitschy". Not to discount anyone's abilities or repertoire, but guys like Mel Torme, Perry Como and Pat Boone were never "edgy". Their music, however catchy, was always just a little bit corny. There always exists a faction of the industry that heads in that direction. This means that they recognize a trend, and formulaically overstate it with unabashed enthusiasm. This tends to leave their music devoid of soul and passion, and at best can only be amusing.

Then there were certain artists who made entire careers, intentionally or not, of a musical style that was always neither Rock nor Soul, and have managed to stand the test of time. Because despite their questionable preference to walk the path of colorlessness, they were true musicians with a penchant for the melodic that some hardcore rockers could learn from. Also, they were committed to their genre, and years later, as uncool as it may seem to the young, their work maintains a certain endearing appeal.

So this is a tribute to those "guilty pleasure" singers of the past, many of whom may have influenced the artists you appreciate now, but who will not admit it.

A list of most notables:

Tony Bennet: Actually, there is nothing uncool about this guy except that he looks like my grandfather's grandfather... after he passed away. His performance style is dated and predictable, but he can always sing, and who doesn't love Tony Bennet? The guy recorded great music, and is still around. Good for you, Tony. Can you hear me? Probably not.

Tom Jones: He was introduced to a new, young audience recently, when he performed a medley of his own tunes with some of the finalists on American Idol. For the rest of us, he instills hope of eternal youth and virility. With the exception of his recently greyed hair, he looks exactly the same as when he wore those barely-buttoned shirts and way-too-tight-in-the-crotch pants during the early 70s. He still captivates an audience, the ladies still swoon
(only now they carry inhalers), and he's still wearing the same barely-buttoned shirts and way-too-tight-in-the-crotch pants. Consequently, over the last 2 decades, he has had at least one big hit every few years, like Prince's Kiss with Art of Noise, Sexbomb with Mousse T, and Stoned in Love with Chicane. Either he really knows who to collaborate with, or it's the other way around.
Bobby Darin: I actually think this guy might have been the coolest of the corny crooners. He married Sandra Dee who was hot, but also the most wholesome of white-bred women in Hollywood. Born Walden Robert Cassotto, he made American classics out of Splish Splash, Dreamlover, and owns the definitive rendition of Mack The Knife. In the mid-60s, amidst the twilight of his film and music career, he turned hippie-folk-rock artist and scored a hit with Tim Hardin's If I Were a Carpenter. (Also recorded by Johnny Cash and Robert Plant). He died in 1973 at age 37, but would certainly have knocked 'em dead 15 years later in Vegas.

Neil Diamond: When I was a kid in the mid 70s. he was already a musical icon. Then in 1980, he released the film and original soundtrack, The Jazz Singer. The story was not new. It was a slightly more modern version of Al Jolson's original, but the music was his own, and is now considered classic. He has a great sense of humor and has appeared in various films playing himself including; Keeping Up With The Steins where he sings Hava Nagila at a bar mitzvah, and Saving Silverman, where, while being kidnapped by fans, he becomes a willing accomplice to their plans after they reveal their story of "Love on the Rocks" to which Neil proclaims, "Ain't no big surprise". Awesome.

Frankie Valli: With or without the "Seasons", this guy is hard to resist. Jersey Boys put his music back on everyone's radar, and people always seem surprised at how many of his songs they recognize without ever having known the source. In addition to the obvious ones like Oh What A Night, Big Girls Don't Cry, and Can't Take My Eyes off You, try Marlena, Let's Hang on, Beggin', and Opus 17. His songs have been covered by Lauryn Hill, Madcon, Muse, Vicki Carr, Cher, and many more. That's the ultimate testimonial.

Barry Manilow: I was once rebuked by the "Fanilows" (who claim Barry doesn't care for the term) for referring to Manilow as a "has-been". While everything else I wrote about him was positive, I was scolded, and told that he had a popular show in Vegas. As one of my readers (Love Child of Dr. J) pointed out, a show in Vegas doesn't exactly relieve oneself of the title of "has-been", but the point moreover is that he has a show that many people come from every corner of the world to see, and that is kind of cool, isn't it? I don't know about you, but I'm "ready to take a chance again".

Englebert Humperdinck: Arnold George Dorsey could have picked a cooler pseudonym. I would have recommended "Snake", "Slick" or even "Dookie" Dorsey, but he didn't ask me, and just went with the name of a 19th century opera composer. Now, some use his name as a paradigm for the musically unhip, but who doesn't enjoy a good Quando, Quando, Quando when it comes on the radio? How many commercials and films have used Please Release Me or The Last Waltz? Well my 2 favourites are the cheesiest of all: After the Lovin' and This Moment in Time are like eating a Krispy Kreme fondue. They're so sappy and Shmaltzy (fatty), that I get stomach cramps and a toothache every time I hear them. That said, if there were spycare in my car, I'd have a million hits on YouTube for my renditions of both.

Tony Orlando (and Dawn): For those of you under 35, Dawn was not one woman, but two. This doo-wop turned lounge singer with velvet tux and matching bow-tie is almost hilarious to watch in retrospect. Never the less, not only are songs like Knock 3 Times, and Sweet Gypsy Rose still fun, but I remember heading up north with some of the guys when Tie a Yellow Ribbon turned into an all-male, swear-we-will-never-speak-of-this, extravaganza, with Michael and Chris playing the part of Dawn. I, of course, was Tony Orlando because... it was my CD.

Donny and Marie: They're back...and in Toronto! Now, I enjoy a little Country, and a little bit of Rock N' Roll, but I am pretty sure that whatever these tickets cost, is exactly that much more than I am willing to spend. Knowing how to sing isn't enough. We must relate to you, and I just can't hear a mormon with 27 children that has admitted to never having had oral sex, sing to me about "Puppy Love". I'd barf. Oops. I think I just did.

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