Hall of Fame

Hey kids. It's one of my favourite times of year, and not because of Freethought Day (October 12, but I reserve the right not to recognize it), Apple day (an annual celebration, held on October 21 in U.K. I couldn't even make that up.), or Turkmenistan's upcoming independence day (Now THAT'S a party!).

No, it's nomination time for 2011's inductees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The 15 nominees were announced on Tuesday (September 28th), but roughly 6 will make the cut.

The criteria for eligibility is as follows: An artist being nominated, had to have released their first record 25 years prior to the year of induction (My apologies to Miley Cyrus). In other words, anyone with a single prior to 1986 is eligible, so we can finally see if Bananarama gets their long overdue honours.

The funny thing about the list of nominees is that it's all over the map in terms of eras and genres. For instance the last 5 years have seen the inductions of Madonna, Run DMC, Metallica, Little Anthony and the Imperials, Spooner Oldham, Black Sabbath and Herb Alpert.

This is where the general public starts drifting off amidst exclamations of "Who?", "What'd You say? and "Spooner how?", so thankfully there is no democratic public vote on the issue.

Instead, it's the experts that choose. Those of us who listen to everything and can recognize true greatness within the musical community (although once again my invitation seems to have been lost in the mail). A selection of 500 "rock experts"* will determine who is immortalized, and whose work was just a complete waste of everyone's time. *Note: "Rock expert" is an industry term for geeks who spent most of their youth listening to, and analyzing music, while others were busy interacting with humans, so take it all with a grain of salt. Case in point: The Flamingos and the Ronettes are in. Kiss is still not.

Here is the list of this year's nominees, beginning with my opinion on who will be accepted into the penultimate shrine for music lover's whose best vacation choice is ...Cleveland.

The Nominees

Beastie Boys: Yes. Maybe. Run DMC got in. I would say they had to be next. Traditionally, rap has not gotten the respect it deserves where the HoF is concerned, but these guys never really committed to definitive labels anyway. They are as much Rock and Punk as any of the other genres into which they have delved, and they have been...delving so for over a quarter century now. They deserve to make the cut. Go Beasties, Go Beasties, Go, go...

Bon Jovi: Of Course. A rock group who has been consistently proficient (or proficiently consistent) for 3 decades, to the point that their concerts include both their retro hits alongside their new releases for the enjoyment of mother AND daughter. Their mass appeal alone makes their genre seem softer than the rock they actually play, but they won't have to be "livin' on a prayer" anymore. They're in.Chic: No way. Everyone knows Le Freak and Good Times, and the sample beat to Rapper's Delight, but there has got to be a bigger requirement for eternal recognition at this level. Also, there is little precedence for disco acts that didn't transcend, or anyone who wore shiny satin tights. Okay, so Rod Stewart, David Bowie and Mick Jagger maybe, but not Chic. Trust me.

Alice Cooper: Affirmative. How is he not there already? He's a prolific and influential artist who stuck around for a long time, and is still relevant, especially to up and coming musicians who seek inspiration to set their sights beyond the pop arena. Without him, we may never have seen Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson (I just mentioned Marilyn Manson in the same sentence. Rob Zombie just ralphed).

Neil Diamond: Does anyone know the yiddish expression for "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?"?
The fact that he is not already there after ABBA got in last year is ridiculous! Don't make me have to write a broadway play using his musical repertoire because I'll do it!
Donovan: Absolutely. Another guy who is long overdue. It is not so much the quantity of his work as the quality and longevity of songs like Mellow Yellow and Sunshine Superman, not to mention the classic, Hurdy Gurdy Man. Those 3 songs alone have graced countless movie and TV screens, and have been used in commercials, covered in every musical genre, and even sampled (more than once) in hip-Hop songs. Unhook the velvet rope. He's in.

J. Geils Band: Uh-uh. I happen to be a fan of this band's work even before their 80s' Freeze Frame success. This was a true Blues/Rock group who were once the Allman Brothers favourite band. So you may not see them in Cleveland, but you can hear what made them great in Must of Got Lost, Looking For A Love, and Love Stinks. J, there will always be a shrine to you in my mind. Thank you. Now get out.

Laura Nyro: Aw hells no! It shouldn't matter that only one person that reads this will know who she is, but it does, doesn't it? The fact that she wrote at least 10 of your favourite songs (and you don't even know it) makes her a lock for eventual induction as a writer. So don't cry for her (not one of her songs) because she made more money than all of us, and was well respected during her unfortunately short life.

Joe Tex: Sadly, no. He has my vote based purely on the fact that he was both funky AND hilarious. The first song I ever heard was called Skinny Legs and All, where he takes a woman from the audience at a live show and tells everyone that EVEN SHE can find someone, as he proceeds to shop her around to members of the band and audience (my favourite moment is when, after being asked, "Leroy" says "Naw man. I don't want no woman with no skinny little legs. YOU take her.). Then he scored a disco hit with Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman). Nuff said there. Unfortunately, he will be remembered more by his peers than by the casual music listeners even though he was a true Soul-Funk pioneer. Sorry Joe.

Chuck Willis: No. His untimely death at age 30 came just as the world would begin to embrace what he did best. Just ask Johnny Mathis, Nat King Cole and Sam Cooke. I have only ever heard 2 of his songs; CC Rider and What Am I Living For, the last one having been released just before his death (Oh god, what a prankster!).

Dr. John: Yes. I actually have no idea IF he will be voted in, but he has my support. A New Orleans artist with a distinctive vocal style and great rhythm, he has given us over 4 decades of crazy R&B-psychedelic-voodoo madness, and while the young casual listener may not remember him, anyone who's into music in any way knows exactly who he is. I just hope he is in the "right place at the right time" (pun absolutely intended).

LL Cool J: Maybe. While the "L.adies L.ove Cool J.ames", and we are all impressed that he is the last early rapper standing, he may be hard-pressed to win the votes of music critics. Rap is only just starting to be considered for induction, and despite giving us some great songs, he was just a mediocre rapper. We all love to see him show his abs in movies and use scientific jargon on NCIS, but the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? That might be reaching. Let's see what happens.

Darlene Love: No. A great singer on all of those Phil Spector Oldies, but her claim to fame is singing Christmas, Baby Please Come Home for the last 30 years, and that just isn't enough. Also, isn't there a pornstar with that name? There should be.

Tom Waits: Yes. One of the best "bad voices" in music, he is more of an actor and storyteller than singer. Not a lot of commercial hits and yet, almost everyone knows his name. He is unique, and beloved by true artists. He has got to be in the HoF.

Donna Summer: Fo' sho'. She owned the second half of the 70s, came back twice in the mid, and again late 80s, and is now back as one of the most sought-after retro acts. Her songs are identifiable to people of all ages, and she's ...Donna Summer, dammit! This ain't her "Last Dance". She's in.

So now is the time for you, the people to cast your votes because I assure you that they will not matter in the slightest (yeah, you probably have to read that again).

Join me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Backbeat-by-Mike-Benhaim/283506288354
Keep a song in your heart